T-Mobile Issues Fake Press Release

T-Mobile took a page straight out of the Onion playbook today, releasing a satirical press release prominently featuring made-up quotes from AT&T CEO Ralph de la Vega and analogies to Star Wars villain Darth Vader.

In the press statement, T-Mobile applauds its rival for its decision “to leave the dark side” and embrace the Uncarrier initiative.

“Call it an awakening,” fake de la Vega said in the press release, “but I felt it was time to really stir things up and put the customer first for a change.  And by “customer” I’m referring to our former customers who switch to T-Mobile, because our current customers don’t really qualify. If for any reason you don’t love T-Mobile’s 4G LTE network, which is now faster than ours, we’ll actually pay you up to $450 to come back to AT&T, I kid you not.”

In what can only be described as a clever, if not brilliant marketing gambit, T-Mobile has successfully deflected at least some of the attention from AT&T’s relatively positive Q4 earnings report released earlier this week.  Rather than pointing out that it added more subscribers than any other carrier in Q4 2013, T-Mobile instead focused on AT&T’s $450 promotion that entices customers to come over to Ma Bell. Framing it as an AT&T-funded “test drive” of T-Mobile’s network, CEO John Legere and Co. lambast the offer to great effect.

T-Mobile argues, sardonically, that the promotion is proof that even AT&T can change and that “the darkness” can be defeated.

“It’s kind of like that scene where Darth Vader’s lying there and Luke helps take off his helmet,” Legere said, “and you see that, okay, sure, Darth Vader’s pretty ugly, but he’s human after all.”

In addition to the press release, T-Mobile also took out full-page ads in a number of prominent newspapers like the New York Times to drive the joke home.